The Red Thread

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Hello fellow humans,

I hope that you have read our last post, “Love, Relationships, and the Dharma.” The subject of love seems to be so complicated and intense. I have found that the Dharma lightens matters of the heart when we tend to complicate with illusions of the mind. I thought it would be nice to have 3 very special jewels share with us a lesson the Dharma has taught each one of them regarding relationships and love. Enjoy!

- Haila Macedo, Writer/Blog Editor

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Hector, President of Three Jewels:

Before understanding Dharma as it relates to my experience of life, love was something “out there” to be reached or acquired. I used childlike techniques to experience love in relationships thinking I had to be one way or another in order to be loved. After much study, meditating on that study and eventually re-habituating my strategies and techniques to find love, I understood with complete certainty that Love (Capital L Love) was something that my mind experienced, not from my techniques, but from giving the kind of love to others that I wanted in my own life. With that certainty, I began to “plant seeds” for that experience by making sure everyone around me felt loved and felt all the qualities we associate with love, like tenderness, openness, joy, playfulness, courage, vulnerability and so on. This process allowed me to get out of my own way of seeking love and got me busy giving love.

Years on, I can say with the some certainty that got me started on this love quest, that every loving experience in my life comes from those genuine acts of kindness and love towards others… deep and rich friendships, rekindled loving family relationships, a growing passion for other’s happinesses and, ultimately, my magical relationship with my life partner. All hold the same flavor as the love I gave & give away. I now know Love is something inside of me, always available, always growing… I wish it for everyone that has that yearning for love.  

Stephen Mcmanus, Managing Director of Three Jewels:

The greatest lesson that Dharma has taught me about relationships is that I can never blame my partner for anything. If everyone is truly a reflection of who you are, then your partner is like a crystal clear mirror. They shine the good and the bad ten fold. They are not beautiful and amazing in and of themselves. You made that. You made LOVE! The love you feel is in you. If you created the causes for love, then you are one step closer to enlightenment.

Rachel Webb, Brand Director of Three Jewels:

The dharma is the single key that has unlocked my ability to sustain a romantic relationship. I actually came to Buddhism because my relationships kept falling apart, leaving me devastated and eventually callous and bitter. The most precious teaching was that of karma and emptiness, the two inextricable bookends of reality! If a relationship was occurring in a certain way, it was based on how I have treated others in the past (including how I treated myself, my parents, strangers, and animals). I tested this teaching, and as I began to apply it, it became deeper and deeper: each tiny thought, brief conversation, and gesture were building blocks for my future reality. So now, when things get tough, I remember where it is coming from, and then I build.